Totally Boss

gw102It was a smaller than usual group who geared up to take on some of the biggest, loudest and butt ugliest bosses together this Sunday.

Luckily for Bryce, Thierry and myself we weren’t the only adventures looking to pound some monster flesh that afternoon and between us we managed to slay an impressive number of beasties.

First up was a trip to the Jungle, complete with sunscreen and insect repellent, to deal with an out-of-control inquest super golem which the local hylek had managed to tamper with. Despite trying to hide behind some conveniently placed boxes we eventually found ourselves out in the open; dodging and running for our lives as the golem’s fully automatic hand cannons tried their best to tear chunks from us. Luckily, the golem proved no match for us and our allies and we soon merrily looted it’s electronics for new hats.

From the heat of the jungle to the frozen snow-peaks, we next found ourselves wandering through the Norn lands in search of a rouge svanir shaman. It turns out he wasn’t hard to find as he was the tall guy who shouted a lot and had some weird funky magic swirling all around him. Really he shouldn’t have made himself quite so obvious because he went down like a punk.

Fancying more of a challenge we traveled to the north in search of a dragonspawn known as the Claw of Jormag. Being mighty heroes we filled up on the finest snow truffles first, courtesy of the locals, before taking up arms with the militia and inspecting their defenses. The battle was long, but slowly we weakened the great beast, pulling each other up when the corruption became too much. Hours passed, scores of our fellow adventures lost their lives (And their truffles), but we grimly battled on; patiently lowering the spawn’s defenses until, at last, we could go in for the kill. Surprisingly the dragonspawn’s hoard wasn’t as legendary as the stories had promised but we did walk away with a good handful of gold (weapons).

Having had quite enough of battling monsters for one day we decided a rest was in order and went for a quiet spot of tea in Rata Sum. While we were there Thierry stumbled across the local tourist information booth and we decided a local tour of the Thaumanova Reactor would be a great way to get in some R & R. We’d just started hearing about how the local golems could ingest 100 times their own body weight in harmful substances when the unthinkable happened and a massive golem-induced explosion spawned a huge fire elemental. Luckily the fire elemental was no match for our tour group but we all agreed that it might be best to take our holiday on a nice secluded island somewhere instead.

The Rata Sum tourist information office heartily recommended Laughing Gull Island on the Bloodtide coast at this time of year so we packed our bags and headed out through Lion’s Arch to take in some sun. We’d just spread out our towels on the sun loungers when Bryce noticed that there seemed something a bit odd about all the large, heavily tattooed, bearded hula girls serving our drinks. No sooner had his suspicions been formed then the dastardly trap unfurled and we found ourselves face to face with a Pirate Admiral and her fleet! Suffice to say we made small work of the group but that is definitely the last time we use Rata Sum Tourist Information Services!

Since the monsters seemed to turn up no matter what we did we decided to end our adventures by tracking down a giant wurm that we had heard of down in the Sylvari homelands. The wurm was fairly elusive, given it’s size, and we soon found ourselves waist deep in swamp water destroying it’s minions in an effort to lure it out. Luckily for us the ploy worked and we were quickly engaged in the largest pest control operation this side of Tyria: ruthlessly exterminating the giant wurm so it can bother the locals no more.

So it was, covered in wurm slime and clutching the loot we found at the bottom of it’s gullet (don’t ask), that we decided to depart, each of us looking forward to a hot bath and a good meal in somewhere that didn’t need rescuing!